I begin this blog with a premonition about my life. By using this blog, I intend to practice my writing skills and log a diary of my thoughts concerning the world around me and my inner being. I write this blog to express my own ideas, and help my inner thoughts come to conclusions as I stream my consciousness onto this virtual paper. I used to hate the word blog and despise this new form of technology just like I despised podcasts, but I now see their usefulness and I'm willing to embrace it, so here it goes.
I have come to an epiphany on a strange day in May. I just decided to set up a malleable plan for my life. I have been in school far too long to not have my bachelor's degree and I realized this is my own fault. I was unable to foresee my future upon me and wield my intelligence and common-sense to achieve quicker success in college. However, I learned many lessons having spent much time here at school. I now plan to change my direction in life and education, of all things, to more school!
I plan to attend graduate school at the University of Texas and eventually complete a doctoral program at MIT. As far fetched as that sounds, many people through out my college career have asked me why I ended up at Texas State University and San Antonio College. They ask me how come I didn't concern myself with where I was going to attend college more so than I did. I say that I had no direction or influence other than my parents who pacified their influence by letting me decide. In my eyes, Texas State University picked me. It was a mistake for my parents not to influence or pressure me more, yet it was also not a mistake at the same time. I needed the baby steps that my life took to get to where I am at now. I'm now ready to proceed with my life and take it to the next level of education and echelon of maturity. I'm ready to make important decisions without fear of the future. I'm ready to embrace the moments ahead of the present.
I'm 25 and I'm still in school. I have learned many things, academically, socially, and politically, but the most import skills I have acquired during college thus far are the knowledge on life itself. I now know that I need to refocus my life and plan for the long haul. Life is not as short as many people say it is, yet it is quintessentially short at the same time. With the deeper thoughts it took for me to come to a conclusion about my near future, I delved into my inner being. So, without further ado, let me introduce you to my inner being.
I care about the world and world events. Many things have influenced me including the energy crisis and my fear that we will run out of oil very soon. I'm fascinated by the future and anything futuristic. I enjoy a good dooms-day movie where the future is bleak, but I also enjoy the movies that portray life of the mid to late 21st century as advanced and altruistic. This influence allows my minds-eye to play around with my visions of the future in my spare time. I do this when listening to music or pondering life-changing events, new technologies, and during my daily activities. This form of meditation and deep thought helps me perceive my beliefs more clearly. Because I like to ponder the future and the reason for life itself, it comes without much provocation that life itself is not necessarily understandable to a complete degree, but it's worth attempting and worth making the effort to make my stand on it.
I believe that my thoughts on life should be shared with whoever wishes to view them including my future self. I will look back at this and decide my direction in my life each time I reposition it by reflecting on my past dreams, desires, and intentions.
One of my deepest concerns about the future is environmental. I want the Earth, mother Gaia, to be left better than we have found it as a human species. I altered my views about this planet when I was a boy scout, but I couldn't imagine the intensity that I would feel and the desire to protect her later in my life. I wish to incite any morally justifiable means necessary to protect her as much as possible. I'm an environmentalist at heart. I haven't always acted as one though, but now I desire to be as mentally aware about my impact as I am about your impact and everyone else's impact in our global attempt to clean up the world and return it to the pre-human condition of the planet, long before our ancestors began to ravage the resources. We are still polluting the bloodstream of the oceans, infecting the living tissue of the planet's continents with the cancer of human impact, and destroying the lungs of the earth which have been infiltrated with toxins many of us don't even try to control one bit. We all hope that someone smart will come along and figure it all out for us, but no one is better adapt to do that than ourselves. We are the ones in charge of our own life and we are the ones in charge of our own impact, but for those who are not aware that they are in charge of their impact or could care less about this aspect on life, that's where people like me will attempt to make our statement to the world.
On a side note to environmentalism, I am politically complicated. I consider myself moderate when it comes to politics. My views are somewhat dark and Machiavellian, somewhat utopian and utilitarian, enormously capitalistic and slightly communistic. I'm also greatly influenced by my religious views which are also very complicated, far more than I ever thought they would be. I try to keep to moral altruism, but life itself lends itself to complicated matters where laws and legal bindings to morality are far and few between and the right and wrong that should be clear is very murky. I find it near impossible to find the absolute answer for everything, but I figure that whatever lends itself to the situation as the best answer will work itself out in the most moderate way possible. With extremism on both ends fighting for each side, moderate points of view end up winning for the most part, but only after time takes its toll on the extremism. In the end, the most moderate solution ends up winning. I'm fiscally conservative for the public although a bit of a hypocrite with my own finances. I'm also an idealist that believes many ideals need to be held strongly and passionately to realize a dream or at least attempt to find a point that is realistically obtainable somewhere in between your dream and the place you left behind. I'm all for democracy, but when the demographic turns into a tyranny of the majority, a republic is much better suited for handling the influx of change in human society.
To explain my complicated religious experience, I will say a bit about my religious history and my recent interests in religion. I found myself in a religious quagmire of potential ideas and absolutes when I grew into adulthood. I was raised Methodist, I've had friends of many backgrounds, cultures, religions, agnostic, and even Satanism (not Satan worship). I have established my own interpretation about the world, G*d, life, philosophy, religion, and the effects it has on our planet, our society, and our future in an afterlife, if that might exist. I even have a great movie script which I may or may not decide to turn into a movie about how the book of revelations might come true in a very scientifically and philosophical method. That will be held for a later post to my blog about the specifics of my idea.
I now consider Mysticism a great form to express my beliefs even though I hold true to Christian beliefs because they are the ways I first came to understand G*d and to first worship the concept of divinity. I have recently been influenced with a PBS special about Islam that enlightened me to how the prophet Mohammed met Jesus, Moses, and Abraham. I found that amazing and it sparked my interest to learn more.
I also found myself learning Hebrew and having many Judaic influences in my life. I'm 1/4 Jewish through my grandfather who has since passed away. He is a descendent of my great, great-grandfather who was a famous rabbi in Memphis, TN during the 1870's to early World War 1. I've had two girlfriends who were Jewish, and my best friend from high school is Jewish.
At the end of the present moment, I'm interested in the many chapters of my life that are still open. I'd like to close them as soon as possible and move on to new chapters as quickly as possible by graduating. I'd like to travel the world, visit Kazakhstan, France, England, Ireland, Germany, Italy, Japan, China, Australia, Austria, Czech Republic, Finland, Switzerland, Greece, Turkey, Brazil, Costa Rica, Canada, Mexico, Chile, the Caribbean, Russia, Ukraine, Lithuania, South Korea, India, Egypt, Israel, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, Iraq, South Africa, and many places in between.
I also plan on making some sort of impact on the world that changes it for the good. I wish that the hope that divine forces exists that will allow for the possibility of good to prevail in the world through my actions and the actions of others that have the power to alter the world. I plan on trying my best to work my thoughts out on some of the most pressing issues of the 21st century including what I feel are the most pressing issues of my generation including the rise of red China into the superpower of the world, the future clash of 21st century superpowers, the woes of Africa, the redistribution of nuclear power, the globalization and unification of our entire planet, the deforestation of the planet, the energy crisis and impending end-of-oil event horizon, the depletion of species in the world's vast oceans, and the extinction of species on land.
My favorite issue is the concern that global warming will change the planet beyond easy repair. I'm enthralled about Hydrogen combustion engines and the future they will have for creating a reliable, renewable, efficient and powerful resource that will be more practical than nuclear energy and capable of reducing the world's carbon emissions to a very minimal level.
With this, I say, all that I feel at the present moment is not despair, but hope that this ongoing battle encompassing the world and everyone in it will somehow create the Hollywood script where with a drop of hope and sliver of passion, our love for life, zeal for religion, and zest for existence, we may all prevail with divine powers on our side.
I foresee the future where machines will become increasing more intelligent and abundant in our lives and will eventually inherit the Earth from us, but we have a few steps to complete before we hand this planet off to our super-intelligent grandchildren of G*d. It's those steps to ensure the survival of our planet for our own destructive habits that seems to be our most evident purpose, to make sure we don't fail as a divinely evolved species by destroying the Earth. We need to succeed in preserving its abundance of life and show that our evolution was not in vain.
That's enough philosophy and politics for now, but more will come as I feel the desire to speak my mind. I hope not to waste much of my time with this blog, or log of my life, but I also hope that no time is wasted with you the reader, even if that reader is my future self contemplating on where my life has been and where it's going.
I'll leave you with a bit of soulful advice. Support Internet radio and listen to http://www.radioioambient.com/ for awesome imaginative and trance-inducing music to take your mind, body, and soul to a place with no boundaries. I do it daily and like it, but that's my style.